


you got everything (but i got nothing here without you)

by electrolyte



Series: I will come running when you call my name [6]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Not a happy ending oops, Past Relationship(s), Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 13:01:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18315773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/electrolyte/pseuds/electrolyte
Summary: jaemin just wants a second chance. even if it's two and half years too late.





	you got everything (but i got nothing here without you)

_ “you can’t do this to me, jaemin.” _

for what it’s worth, jaemin does regret it. he regrets everything, all that he’s ever done. he has never wanted to turn back time to fix his mistakes this badly.

he hurt the one person who  ~~ loves ~~ loved him wholeheartedly.

and he’ll never forgive himself.

but yet here he is, two and a half years later. standing right at the doorway of jeno’s apartment and asking, begging for a second chance.

he’s fully aware that he’s too late. way too fucking late, he thinks, when his eye catches a glimmer of something shiny on jeno’s finger.

“a-at least,” jaemin gulps. “hear me out?”

jeno sighs, and he takes a few seconds to contemplate his decision. after what seems like forever he finally gives in, stepping aside to let jaemin into his apartment.

he thanks the other with a soft voice, looking into his eyes, but jeno doesn’t respond nor return the gesture. he simply shuts the door, shuffling to the dining table without even waiting for jaemin.

jaemin takes a brief look around the studio apartment. he isn’t surprised that he no longer recognises it - the walls painted with fresh coats of light grey instead of the sky blue that he was used to. the furniture was also new - the sofa that used to be a cream l-shape now a charcoal three seater.

he can see some potted plants and little succulents at the bay window, and for obvious reasons he had hoped to see the little pot of rosemallows that they planted together.

but of course it isn’t. it’s been over two years. those flowers were clearly dead and gone.

just like their relationship.

_ “i’m sorry, jeno. but i don’t want to continue this anymore.” he blatantly says to the older boy behind the bleachers after he’s won the last soccer game of the season. “let’s break up.” _

_ “y-you,” jeno scoffs in disbelief. “you’re joking right?” _

_ jaemin looks down and avoids his eyes, kicking around the soil beneath his shoes. jeno hates it when they don’t make eye contact while they talk, but at that moment, he could barely stand being in his presence. _

_ “no i’m not,” jaemin mumbles before sighing. “i tried, jeno. i really did. but i just can’t seem to love you.” _

_ “so you just, give up? so you don’t even bother trying harder?” jaemin hears him sniff, voice cracking in the slightest. _

_ “don’t you get it?” jaemin suddenly bursts out, frustrated. and jeno flinches at his loud voice. “i told you i’ve tried, and if i can’t love you then that’s that. just accept it!” _

_ he finally looks up from staring at his shoes, to see jeno red faced and tears brimming in the corner of his eyes. _

_ jeno never cries, not even when he’s watching a nicholas sparks movie. it has always been jaemin who was more willing to show his emotions. _

_ but clearly not this time. _

_ “i…” jeno’s voice falters, before he takes a deep breath and rubs at his wet cheeks with his palm. “i’m sorry to have wasted your time then.” _

_ “yeah.” _

_ they stare at each other for a good few seconds before jaemin turns around to take his leave, out of his sight and out of his life. _

_ jaemin is the first to delete his number and block him on every social media platform that he owns. even goes as far as arranging a courier to send whatever things jeno had left with him, including every gift he’s received. _

_ so jaemin breaks jeno’s heart like that. leaving him in the dust and pretending like he’s never existed. like their one year relationship never existed. _

_ and after over two years of moping and countless bottles of alcohol only does jaemin realise that no one else could make him the happiest person alive. _

_ if only he had realised that earlier. _

jaemin stares blankly at jeno’s clasped hands on the table across him. he’s always had pretty fingers, even prettier now that it had a ring on it.

but too bad it wasn’t his.

“you have a lot of guts coming here, na jaemin.” jeno is the one who breaks the ice, pulling jaemin out of his reverie. he snaps his head up to face him, welcomed by a look of mild disbelief plastered across the other’s face. “what do you want?”

“another chance.” jaemin blurts out.

“yeah you said that the moment i opened the door.” jeno mumbles under his breath. “but you see, jaemin, you’re a little too late for that second chance. two years and six months to be exact.”

“i… i know. and you’re… engaged?”

jeno clears his throat, toying with the ring around his finger. “yeah. just last week, actually.”

“do you even love him?” jaemin says, and it comes out a little more accusingly as it should.

“you’re unbelievable.” jeno scoffs. “listen here, jaemin. i opened that door and let you in because i thought you’ve finally stopped being a dick and came around to apologise. thought we could just be friends and move on. but turns out that nothing’s changed huh?”

“jeno, please. i knew i was wrong and i hurt you, but i realised that only you could make me happy,” jaemin explains with hope in his eyes. “i never knew what i had until it was gone and i really regret everything so please,  _ baby _ , give me a chance.”

“don’t fucking call me that.” jeno seethes. “you’re so selfish, jaemin. you think i’m going to just drop everything and be with you again? after how you treated me? i’m  _ finally _ happy and content. someone finally loves me for who i am, and you think you can just show up here after two years and expect me to give in? you’re brave, i’ll give you that.”

jaemin is rendered speechless, unsure of what else to say after jeno’s outburst. those three words he’s been meaning to say stuck in his throat.

“you can’t do this to me, jaemin. i can’t give up my happiness just for yours, it’s not fair.” jeno says after calming down.

“do you still love me?” is all that jaemin manages to say, and jeno gives him another look of disbelief. eyes cold and emotionless.

“no, jaemin. i don’t.”

“fair enough.” jaemin nods weakly, fiddling with his fingers.

“you know, if you had come to me earlier, way earlier, i would’ve said yes to you in a heartbeat.” and that was all it took to drive a stake right through jaemin’s heart.

“i-i’m sorry, jeno.”

“apology accepted.” jeno says with a small smile, and jaemin watches as he unlocks his phone and glances at the screen for few long seconds. “i need to go meet my fiance now. i’d invite you to my wedding but… i don’t think that’s a good idea huh?”

jaemin lets out a bitter laugh. “understandable.”

“thanks for coming by jaemin. you can see yourself out.”

and jaemin simply nods as he lets jeno walk away from him this time, out of his sight and out of his life. and if he stays for a while more to cry at jeno’s dining table and glare at the photo of jeno and his fiance on the counter then that’s nobody’s business but his.

_ “jaemin ah, did you know that i’m so disgustingly in love with you?” jeno giggles drunkenly as he slumps by jaemin’s side. “but you don’t need to say it back to me yet, you can take your time.” _

_ jaemin looks over to his boyfriend and snorts. jeno never had a high tolerance for alcohol, yet he’d still accept drinks from his teammates. _

_ with much difficulty, jaemin shrugs off one side of his coat and wraps it around jeno, rubbing his arms for warmth and placing a kiss on his head. _

_ maybe jaemin had always loved jeno from the start, but he never truly realised it. _

**Author's Note:**

> I was just feeling for angst and decided to hurt myself like this yup.
> 
> twt: @jen4jaem  
> cc: electrolytes


End file.
